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Literature Text
Dear Future Boyfriend,
Here's a list of things you should know
Before you cleverly grin,
"Wanna' go out with me now?"
If you use cologne
I'll smack you upside the head
Before I bitterly moan
And lie upon the floor, dead
I also hate perfume
And all kinds of various sprays
I'd have to leave the room
To get out of the haze
Jewelry just isn't my thing
Watches are a prison sentence
So forget the sparkly ring
(You'll save more money that way)
I'm simply not pretentious
(Your wallet will see the light of day)
I'm rather cheap
So don't buy me overpriced crap
Which will make you involuntarily weep
And cause you to look like a sap
When we go out to dine
Your food is yours
And my food is mine
When it falls, it's the floor's
(In other words, I won't eat food that's been in your mouth)
I don't like the mushy stuff
Though you may mess with my hair
But don't act too tough
I hope that's fair
More than cologne, I loathe profanity
So if you choose to speak it
I'll be driven to insanity
Before spazzing out and throwing a fit
No coffee for me please
The smell alone makes me gag
And never any teas
So don't put them in the bag
You may never smoke
Or drink for that matter
The smell of cigarettes makes me choke
And drinking will make you fatter
Sorry if I seem a bit mean
Giving you all these rules
But if you break them, I will become unseen
And perhaps…steal your family's jewels
Because you better be rich too!
Sincerely,
Christina Price,
Your Future Girlfriend
Here's a list of things you should know
Before you cleverly grin,
"Wanna' go out with me now?"
If you use cologne
I'll smack you upside the head
Before I bitterly moan
And lie upon the floor, dead
I also hate perfume
And all kinds of various sprays
I'd have to leave the room
To get out of the haze
Jewelry just isn't my thing
Watches are a prison sentence
So forget the sparkly ring
(You'll save more money that way)
I'm simply not pretentious
(Your wallet will see the light of day)
I'm rather cheap
So don't buy me overpriced crap
Which will make you involuntarily weep
And cause you to look like a sap
When we go out to dine
Your food is yours
And my food is mine
When it falls, it's the floor's
(In other words, I won't eat food that's been in your mouth)
I don't like the mushy stuff
Though you may mess with my hair
But don't act too tough
I hope that's fair
More than cologne, I loathe profanity
So if you choose to speak it
I'll be driven to insanity
Before spazzing out and throwing a fit
No coffee for me please
The smell alone makes me gag
And never any teas
So don't put them in the bag
You may never smoke
Or drink for that matter
The smell of cigarettes makes me choke
And drinking will make you fatter
Sorry if I seem a bit mean
Giving you all these rules
But if you break them, I will become unseen
And perhaps…steal your family's jewels
Because you better be rich too!
Sincerely,
Christina Price,
Your Future Girlfriend
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I can't believe I actually wrote this. It's been swirling around in my head forever so here it is. 
I've never had a boyfriend and pry won't for the next few years (don't really care, but whatever), but I figured I should set some standards now. What I said is mostly true, but hopefully you can tell that I was exaggerating about the money thing in the end.
But I really AM cheap and if I refuse to spend more than $10 on shoes, I don't expect (or want) someone to buy something even I wouldn't buy. I wanted to talk about my dislike for flowers and some other things, but it was hard enough fitting the other stuff in, lol.
Hehe, I'll wear a watch, but it does drive me nuts to have things around my wrist or fingers. I always say that if I ever got a wedding ring, I'd wear it as a necklace. Yeah, I'll just have to hope that I find a guy that's into that.
For the drinking thing, I was at a loss of what to put there to make it rhyme and still make some sense. It was originally, 'drinking will make you fall off a ladder". Then I changed my mind. XD
Haha, the first poem I write in months...and it was this. X'D
Poem © Me
I've never had a boyfriend and pry won't for the next few years (don't really care, but whatever), but I figured I should set some standards now. What I said is mostly true, but hopefully you can tell that I was exaggerating about the money thing in the end.
But I really AM cheap and if I refuse to spend more than $10 on shoes, I don't expect (or want) someone to buy something even I wouldn't buy. I wanted to talk about my dislike for flowers and some other things, but it was hard enough fitting the other stuff in, lol.
Hehe, I'll wear a watch, but it does drive me nuts to have things around my wrist or fingers. I always say that if I ever got a wedding ring, I'd wear it as a necklace. Yeah, I'll just have to hope that I find a guy that's into that.
For the drinking thing, I was at a loss of what to put there to make it rhyme and still make some sense. It was originally, 'drinking will make you fall off a ladder". Then I changed my mind. XD
Haha, the first poem I write in months...and it was this. X'D
Poem © Me
© 2010 - 2024 InvdrDana
Comments11
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Ahaha, never had one either 
I'm not really interested at the moment. Doesn't mean I can't dream though! XD
Anywho, what's wrong with perfumes?! I LOVE someone who will smell nice! Everything else I agree with you on though. But perfumes? I don't spray it too much, because my friend is a severe asthmatic, but I'd love to know your side of the reasoning!
I'm not really interested at the moment. Doesn't mean I can't dream though! XDAnywho, what's wrong with perfumes?! I LOVE someone who will smell nice! Everything else I agree with you on though. But perfumes? I don't spray it too much, because my friend is a severe asthmatic, but I'd love to know your side of the reasoning!